I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize