Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Randomize
