Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
