For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
