i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
