i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
