Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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