Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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