i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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