So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
not ubering you a puppy
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
