She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
