I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
