it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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