Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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