i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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