areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
