brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
