I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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