I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
