my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize