i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
