oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
