Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Holy shit dude........stairs
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