is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize