there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
