Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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