batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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