He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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