Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
