if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
