my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
