Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(843): View more from South Carolina

did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?

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(702): View more from Nevada

shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?

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(917): View more from New York City

and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.

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(954): View more from Florida

I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa

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(440): View more from Ohio

Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.

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(366): View more from

just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.

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(541): View more from Oregon

After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...

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(817): View more from Texas

only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs

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