Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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