i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
