i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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