1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
