I bet he comes in French.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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