Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
