my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
