I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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