I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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