it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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