Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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