He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Randomize
