They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
