Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
