nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
