I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
