Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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