it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
