Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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