Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
