i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize