Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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