So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
