I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
