We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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