i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Why is there bacon in the couch?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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