He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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