you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
