please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
