I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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