Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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