Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
