i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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