It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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