And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize