They should really pass out barf bags in church
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
