just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize