Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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