I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
