K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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