i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
