haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
