Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
