dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
