Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
