What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
