It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
