i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He better not be in your backpack
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
